


Frostbite

by greenapple10



Category: Re-Animator (Movies)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Whump, alternate ending to bride, herbert's a zombie, one of my first fics in a long time so we'll see how this goes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:13:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28540857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenapple10/pseuds/greenapple10
Summary: Herbert has become like every subject he's examined. He's not quite dead, but not quite alive.
Relationships: Daniel Cain/Herbert West
Comments: 12
Kudos: 43





	1. Freezer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw // whole chapter is a death scene

Herbert tackled the reanimated policeman off of him. The violent corpses were closing in on either side of the damaged brick wall separating the laboratory from the crypt. Just as Herbert had escaped the officer's grasp, the horrible thing grabbed him again and wrapped its arms tightly around the scientist's neck. While he struggled, Dan and Francesca were backed by the remaining zombies and the flying head of Dr. Hill into the passageway to the crypt. With no choice, the two of them were plunged into piles of West's rejected projects, all painfully alive and vengeful. But Herbert and Chapman still remained in the laboratory, alone except for the slowly dying pieces of the failed Bride.

By some miracle, or curse, Chapman had an inkling of intelligence left after his reanimation. He recognized the power he had here. Herbert once again was able to find his way out of the corpse's grasp by smacking the creature in the head with a nearby book, leaving it to tumble around dumbly as it reoriented itself. Maybe it didn’t keep _that_ much intelligence. Nevertheless, the officer found his way up again and lunged to grab West for a third time. Herbert narrowly dodged the attack, stepping backwards while holding the book out to keep the foul beast away. It was then that Chapman looked behind West and saw an opportunity. The freezer.

It was a frivolous decision, but it had served Dan and Herbert well. Upon acquiring this run-down cemetery household, which had not been touched in twenty years, they were bound to make a few renovations, especially ones that made the place more suitable for the work they would be conducting there. New locks, minifridges to keep their bottles of reagent, extensive amounts of lab equipment...but they had also splurged on a large walk-in freezer where the scientists would be able to store their new abundance of cadavers. Kept at a cool 35 degrees Fahrenheit, the decomposition process could be temporarily slowed, giving them an extra week or two of freshness for their soon-to-be subjects. 

Dan had opposed the idea when Herbert first suggested it, saying that people would have to come in and install it and what if they saw something? Luckily, the installation had happened before the two doctors had started any new experimentation at the house, and any strange things that the workers did see, they did not really question. Nor did they question why a freezer was needed, they were here to just get paid and move on, just as Herbert had predicted. With the freezer installed without suspicion, Herbert had succeeded in calming Dan's nerves, and soon the two found themselves using it on a regular basis. It had proved to be especially helpful with their new project, as any time one of them came home with a new body part, they could tuck it away in the freezer until it was time to attach it to the Bride.

Chapman, despite his state, recognized a chance to not only trap Herbert, but also kill him as he was hell-bent on doing. The creature continued to lunge towards West, and though the scientist was able to dodge all the officer's assaults, he wasn't aware he was backing himself up to the heavy freezer door. Before he knew it, the creature had him pinned against the cool metal. Herbert could smell the blood and bile on the corpse's breath as it moved in closer. Closing his eyes and turning his head to the side, Herbert tried to kick Chapman away while using his right hand to fumble for the freezer handle. In a split-second move, West kicked the zombie off about a foot away from him, hastily opened the freezer door, and pushed the creature inside. But in his process to shut the door, Chapman was able to grasp Herbert's tie, and with a look of shock the scientist was pulled inside the freezer as the heavy door slammed behind them.

Herbert landed face first on the cold floor of the freezer and quickly readjusted himself back up. As he turned around to let himself out of the numbing freezer before the zombie could attack him, he saw to his horror that Chapman had already placed himself firmly between West and the freezer's exit. Chapman didn't care if he died in here. He already was dead after all. The creature reached for the interior handle, and using the strange burst of strength and adrenaline that the reanimated seemed to acquire, he tore the handle clean off of the door and threw it to the ground, letting out a chilling laugh of madness. 

"No!" Herbert yelled instinctively. He threw himself at the door, pushing as hard as he could to get it open despite the broken handle. He felt around the spot where the handle used to be connected to the door, pushing and pulling as much as he could, but nothing budged. Nothing. While Herbert desperately tried to find a way to open the door, he was surprised by another round of mad laughter from the zombie coming behind him. Chapman was pressing his fat finger into the down button on the thermostat inside the freezer, jamming it until it reached its minimum temperature of -20 degrees Fahrenheit, and then smashed the entire mechanism with a punch. 

The new chill had not set over the freezer yet, it would need a minute to actually bring the temperature down 55 degrees from where it was. Herbert used the last bits of adrenaline he had from the intense fight to pounce himself over Chapman and pin him to the ground with his foot. The officer struggled and clawed at West's leg, but he held firm in fury. While still holding his weight on Chapman, West looked around for a weapon. With his brute anger in the moment, anything vaguely sharp would do. He haphazardly knocked over one of the metal wire shelves containing a multitude of wrapped up body parts, scattering them across the floor. Prying a beam of steel from the horizontal supports of the shelf, he let out a yell as he drove the stick through Chapman's skull. The zombie's yelps of pain echoed in the freezer as Herbert repeatedly pulled out the beam and stabbed it through the creature's chest again and again, until not a single muscle was twitching in the twice-dead being. West threw the blood-stained beam to the side of the freezer and breathed heavily in exhaustion. He flung some blood off of his hand and wiped the excess on his already stained shirt.

Herbert stumbled to the door, once again trying desperately to let himself out. This time when he touched the metal, it was significantly colder than it was before. The kind of cold that burns to the touch. He wanted to withdraw, but he had to keep pushing his weight on the door to try and bust it open. After a few seconds, however, the sensation was too much to bear and the door was clearly not budging. West jumped back from the door and collapsed on the ground. _Oh God._ The metal floor was even worse. Herbert jumped back on his feet, now noticing the trembling in every part of his body as it desperately shivered, trying to generate heat. That -20 degrees had surely come to its full effect by now. 

Being a doctor, Herbert knew very well the dangers of hypothermia. In this situation, he'd only be able to retain consciousness for a few minutes. And after that he'd soon go into cardiac arrest. It was important to keep his internal temperature up as it rapidly declined, but everything was against him. He was already weak and damaged from the fight that had occurred. His light dress shirt gave little warmth, and the various rips and tears in the fabric from his attackers made it practically useless at containing heat from his body. The sweat covering his skin would only make him colder. Herbert tried wiping off as much sweat as he could onto his bloodied sleeves, but it barely felt like it was helping the situation.

It was then that he glanced at the bleeding body of Chapman. Herbert stumbled over to the corpse, each step being extremely painful as the cold set into every part of him. He dropped on top of it, hoping to find some bodily warmth to keep him alive longer, but the body was cold and dead, its skin having turned a dull blue already. Herbert shakily cursed under his breath, his voice and breathing trembling in the cold. He flipped the body over and took the large coat off of Chapman. With shaking hands, he wrapped the jacket around himself like a blanket. Herbert knew this would only keep him conscious for maybe a few minutes longer. His only way to survive this situation would be to bust down that door, but the cold weakened him severely. With every second he could feel his muscles freezing and his heartbeat slowing ever so slightly as it pumped in his chest. The typically distant façade of West crumbled and he could feel tears trying to make their way out of his eyes, but the freezing cold forbade them from coming out. Instead, his eyes stung as his surroundings began to blur.

Herbert was no stranger to death. He'd been in near-death situations countless times before, but he always had some way that he could escape mostly unscathed both physically and mentally. 

The medic tents in Peru with fire blazing around him and guns to his head...the guts of Dr. Hill entangling themselves around his body...the countless other attacks that his reanimated specimens had subjected him to.

But something about this...he knew it was hopeless. 

West was prepared to work alone, to live alone, and to die alone. He knew few understood him and he liked it that way. But since he had entered Dan's life, that attitude had changed. Now he had someone with almost equal passion to his to work with. He had someone who, despite all the cruelty, seemed to _care_ about him. It felt unbearably sad that, if this is where he was to die, that Dan couldn't be here. How long would it take until his colleague found his frozen body?

Herbert painfully turned his head to the smashed bits of the thermostat barely still hanging on the wall after Chapman punched it. He couldn't turn the temperature back up. He turned his head once again to the door. He couldn't open it. A severe panic set over the man. His eyes burned even more with freezing tears. His head pounded, starting to suffer a lack of oxygen due to his slowing heart. There was one person who might be able to save him. One person who would come back.

Herbert got off of Chapman's corpse and slowly made his way, inch by inch, to the door. He wrapped the coat around his small frame tighter, shivering so intensely in the cold that pained every part of his body. With the coat as a buffer between him and the icy door, Herbert tried one more time to press his weight against it, but still nothing. More stinging in his eyes. He glanced at his hands and noticed the pale tint spreading across them and just how impossible it felt to even bend his fingers.

Drawing in an icy breath, West called. "Dan..."

It was almost a whisper, it was all he could muster.

Another painful inhale. "Daniel!"

This time, a little louder. Slightly above the volume of normal conversation. A cloud of vapor escaped his mouth every time he spoke, further highlighting the chill of his cell.

Herbert gasped awkwardly as he struggled to breathe. His vision went from blurry to spotty. It was getting difficult to think at all, but he knew he only had another minute or so until he would pass out. He was somehow still standing on his feet while resting most of the weight of his body on the door. One more sharp breath of air filled his freezing lungs.

"Cain! Please..."

His last exclamation started strong and loud, but with the final word it teetered off back to a whisper volume. Herbert's eyes began to shut against his will, and his frozen legs finally gave away from underneath him, sending him crashing to the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOOOOOOOOOO I'm sorry that the first chapter is just Herbert dying I hope you enjoyed nonetheless :) Please let me know what you thought and stay tuned for chapter 2 soon!


	2. Reanimation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw // needles

Dan's hand bore through the thin layer of earth like the living dead crawling out of their graves. In a sense, it was like that. The ancient crypt had long been in disarray, and the frantic fight inside its walls only encouraged its deterioration. The stone ceiling collapsed on Dan, Francesca, and all the other beings inside the crypt. When a rock fell onto him, it had knocked Dan out for only a few seconds. Soon he was opening his eyes once again and scanning the scene of what had occurred. Among the piles of rubble, he identified the dainty and truly alive hand of his girlfriend, which was frantically moving around trying to escape the stones that pinned its accompanying body down. Cain struggled through the debris and dug through the rocks to release Francesca. She was still conscious and breathing. Thank God. He couldn't lose his Meg again.

The man looked up at the layer of dirt separating them from the surface. It was crumbling piece by piece as fragments of sediment fell onto their faces and tiny streaks of moonlight could be faintly seen through the grass. The oxygen in the area was running low. Dan held Francesca close to himself, desperate to not let her die here. He scratched at the thin topsoil until his hand burst through, pouring moonlight into the dark remnants of the crypt. It was a small opening, but Dan squeezed himself through with Francesca close behind him. When he was fully up on the surface, he turned around to reach for her hand and get her to safety as well.

He had hoped that Francesca would stay with him, but the second she was on land she scrambled to her feet. 

"You bastard! What the hell was all that?" Francesca exclaimed, absolutely distraught and rightfully hysteric. "You thought _that thing_ was Meg? What is wrong with you?!"

Dan only stared at the dirt, laying on the ground and catching his breath. "No please, Francesca wa-" he started, but by the time he turned his head to face her, she was running away from him. He turned back to the dirt and just kept staring, utterly horrified from the events that had happened. The Bride's head detaching from her body as her mismatched limbs rejected each other. Dr. Hill's bloody grin greeting him in the face of death. The feet attached to heads and the legs attached to arms and all assortments of horrible creatures that West, a careless god, made and immediately discarded. West...

Cain didn't see him in the crypt, he must have still been in the laboratory.

Like he gave a single fuck if Herbert was alive or not. He got them into this mess.

Dan still found himself crawling up to a tombstone and using it to pull himself to his feet. He first stumbled, then walked, and then ran to the house. Why did it matter if Herbert was okay? Why did he care about him so goddamn much? He had no answers, but he knew he did care. For no good reason, he cared about this man who had taken everything from him, and if he was gone, what would he do?

All the doors to the house had been broken by the reanimated army, allowing Dan to run straight inside. He dashed through the hallways, calling West's name, but no response came. After the quick survey of the upstairs level, Cain hurried to the basement stairs, practically flying down them. The door into the laboratory was also busted open, and Dan slipped inside, but no one was there. He saw the detached pieces of the Bride strewn about the table with Meg's heart in clear view. It was no longer beating, and Dan never would make it beat again. He averted his eyes from the scene and yelled for Herbert once more. It was then that he heard a loud crash come from the freezer.

Dan ran over to the heavy freezer door and tugged at it until it opened. A thick cloud of icy air blurred his vision for a moment as the -20 degree atmosphere leaked out of the freezer and into the rest of the lab. Dan was already shivering just from being in its vicinity for a few seconds. When his vision cleared, he saw the thin frame of West lying on the floor with a pool of blood leaking from his head. A metal wire shelf was lying on top of the man and its contents were strewn about the freezer. Dan, wide-eyed with adrenaline, flipped the shelf off of Herbert and took the small man in his arms. He hurried out of the freezer with West and went to a lab table, clearing most of its contents off with a frantic wave of his arm. He laid Herbert down. With one hand, he felt through the man's hair for the bleeding wound, and with the other, he grabbed West's wrist to feel for a pulse. His skin was _cold._ Lifelessly cold. Not a single sign of a pulse was present.

Dan screamed a curse and pounded the table with one fist, but he knew he couldn't wait a moment longer. He turned away from West and ran to the minifridge containing a pocket-sized bottle of the reagent. He grabbed the syringe used for the Bride's reanimation not long before and plunged it into the small opening on the reagent bottle. About 15 cc would be enough to bring West back with few violent side effects. He withdrew the syringe containing the glowing green fluid of life. Dan's eyes moved to Herbert's dead body, small and cold. Almost all the color was gone from him already, aside from the red blood of his head wound staining his hair and neck.

The doctor moved in close to West. His eyes watered at the sight of his friend's lifeless corpse. Holding the syringe in one hand, he gently held Herbert's head and raised it up so his neck was exposed. The syringe entered the back of West's neck and went into the brain stem, and with the bending of Dan's fingers on the tool, the reagent flowed into the body. Dan then set Herbert's head back down on the metal table and took a step back. With trembling hands, he dropped the syringe onto a nearby dish and then moved his shaking extremities to hold his aching head. He watched intently. Unwavering. Waiting. Needing to see just the slightest twitch to indicate life. He brought one hand down from his head and spared a split second of looking at Herbert to check his watch.

10 seconds.

He stared again at West. He'd never noticed before how small and thin the man was. He looked helpless. Another glance.

15 seconds.

Dan imagined Herbert in the freezer. The cold setting in. He didn't have the whole story painted in his mind, but something had happened that made Herbert get stuck in there. How long was he there for?

20 seconds.

Did he wonder if anyone would come for him?

Herbert's chest jumped up as the man took in a sharp breath. His limbs began shaking violently and he twitched on the table, screaming. His hands shot up to his head, grabbing it tightly and tugging at his short hair in response to the terrible, terrible pain of birth.

"Herbert! Herbert, it's me!" Dan yelled. West kept painfully squirming around on the table, kicking around at any lab equipment that happened to be in the way. He buried his face in his forearms as his hands grasped at his hair even tighter. The head wound was still leaking, but Herbert's pain was not in response to that. No, every part of his body was given this horrible energy. A rude awakening of life when they thought they would be able to rest eternally. His _brain._ Oh God, the pain. Dan's voice was barely getting through to him as Cain continued to call Herbert's name. The reanimated man moved his arms from his face, revealing wild eyes and tear-soaked cheeks. Dan quickly grabbed for Herbert's wrists and held them together to prevent the man from hurting himself, which West was not pleased about. He exuded his energy in his legs, continuing to wildly kick them as he tried to escape Dan's grasp. Dan took one hand from the man's wrists and held West's chest down.

"Herbert calm down, please! Herbert listen to me!" Dan continued to yell. Somehow, West stopped his flinging about and steadied himself on the table, still twitching his limbs slightly. Herbert breathed quickly and heavily. Jesus, his head hurt so much. Dan's grip on Herbert's wrists had loosened in response to the man's apparently calmer nature now, so West moved his hands back to his head and gripped it on either side. He sat up on the table as Dan watched him carefully with wide, tearful eyes. Herbert held one hand over his wound and moved the other to the edge of the table, grasping it tightly until his already pale knuckles turned white. He finally found the energy to look at Dan. West turned his head and the two scientist's eyes met.

Dan could see everything in Herbert's eyes. Firstly, they were ever-so-slightly bloodshot, a natural occurrence in many of the reanimated. Underneath that, Dan saw intense confusion and pain. He wondered how much Herbert remembered. Despite their extensive research, the chance that reanimated subjects retained their former memories and personalities was very random.

Cain took West's hand off of the table and put it in his own, feeling the trembling of the man's hand and its intense grasp of fear. He reached to wipe off one of Herbert's tears. Dan took in a deep breath, still looking Herbert in the eyes with care.

"Herbert, do you understand me?"

A few seconds passed. Herbert gave a small nod.

"You died. I brought you back."

Herbert's eyes averted from Dan's for a moment to spot the used syringe on the table across from him. He looked at Dan again and gave him another nod. There's a long pause of silence. Dan chokes.

"For God's sake, Herbert, say something. Please." 

Herbert's slightly agape mouth closed in a thin line. His eyes darted away from Dan as he tried to think of what to say. Thinking hurt so much right now. One part of his mind comprehended the situation on a logical level. He had died and Dan reanimated him. He understood. But the other part of him was scared and stressed. The trauma of death and the trauma of birth in rapid succession. And e _verything ached._ His entire body and mind were plagued in pain from the reagent. It was nothing that he was a stranger to in his system. Just a few months before this, he had finally kicked his addiction to the substance. But that was a weaker and smaller amount that only aided him in living. This was his very life force now, literally. He swore he could feel the stuff running through his veins with every dull heartbeat. The small man opened his mouth again and drew in another shaky breath of air, but no words came to him. Words defied all he could express right now. He felt lost in his own head. 

Instead, West collapsed onto Cain and wrapped his arms around the man, embracing him in a rare hug. Cain reciprocated and laid his head on Herbert's shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :))) Dan is gay but won't let himself think about it, Herbert is back, Francesca is the only sane person she's outta here for now
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!! Let me know what you thought in the comments! Stay tuned for chapter 3 :)


	3. Treatment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw // burns, self harm

Herbert sat on the living room couch, boring a hole with his blank stare into the table in front of him. He was mostly calm now. His hands sat folded in between his legs with his limbs involuntarily twitching here and there. Nothing violent but probably a side effect of the reagent, Dan noted to himself. He sat beside Herbert on the couch, looking at the man from a doctor's perspective, trying to detect and diagnose any problems. But among that cold, scientific analysis was a deep concern for West. Dan had no idea what all was wrong with Herbert or why the fact that not knowing the extent of the damages concerned him so bad. Once again, he found himself asking why did he care so much about this man who had ruined his entire life? Before he could dwell on it for too long, Dan cleared his throat, bringing both men back to the present moment.

Herbert blinked and turned his head to meet Dan's eyes. He still hadn't spoken a word since he came back to life. He didn't even want to speak. But he knew Dan would soon pry with questions.

"How much do you remember?"

Right on time.

The reanimated man let out a small sigh and turned his eyes down from Dan again as he thought.

"Everything." He said. He ran through the basics in his head. He recalled his studies with Dr. Gruber...and how they ended. He recalled meeting Dan for the first time and how long ago it felt. He recalled driving the shovel through Dr. Hill's throat. He recalled the bloody intestines of the doctor wrapped around his body...

Herbert jumped ahead. They went to Peru. Served as medics in the war there. Came home and bought an old house beside a cemetery. They'd been doing better experiments than ever before thanks to their new lab space and abundance of cadavers. They became more ambitious. The Bride. The crypt. The freezer...

He stopped and turned his head away from Dan again, finding the table to be much more interesting to stare at.

Dan noticed Herbert's worry. "What is it?"

Herbert gave him no reply. Instead, his lips drew into a straight line once again.

Dan gently placed his hand on Herbert's knee. "Do you remember how you died?"

Herbert's eyes shut tightly in frustration and he scowled. Dan withdrew his hand and watched West carefully. 

"Yes. Why does it matter to you?" Herbert said angrily.

"I'm trying to figure out how to treat you."

" _Treat_ me?"

"Yes, Herbert! You fucking died and came back to life! We know that reanimated subjects retain their injuries prior to death so I need to know what to do for you!"

Herbert hated being referred to in the group of "reanimated subjects." He sighed again, still fuming. His legs bounced and twitched as he sat while his hands fidgeted rapidly.

Dan dropped his shoulders and turned his head away from Herbert's direction. "I didn't mean to raise my voice at you."

"I'm not a child. I can handle it."

There was a pause as the men continued to avoid looking at each other until Dan turned to observe Herbert again. He realized he didn't want to let him out of his sight. What if something happened again? Dan was just about to ask about Herbert's death again when West broke the silence first.

"That officer was attacking me. Somehow it had cornered me up against the freezer door and it was clever enough to open it and push both of us in. You know, that's something we ought to research more, the intelligence of these subjects. We better get back to work right away-"

Herbert spoke quickly and started to stand up from the couch, but Dan's hand reached for his shoulder. A pause of silence again.

"Herbert, just tell me what happened."

West sat down again and tried to ignore Dan watching him from the corner of his eye. The table was still an interesting sight.

"We were in the freezer. It broke the handle off the door and I kept..."

A sigh. The dull, slow heartbeat of the reanimated West quicked to an anxious pace.

"I kept trying to open the door but it wouldn't move. And then it once again was clever. It got to the thermostat, turned the temperature down, and then broke it. I killed the thing right after that but if I wasn't so dumb and oblivious I wouldn't have gotten stuck in that damn freezer."

Herbert was speaking with intense anger and stress. His hands moved up to either side of his head again, pressing tight on his temples with the heels of his palms while his fingers buried into his blood-soaked hair. His eyes were watering for no good reason. Herbert willed them to stop by shutting his eyes tight.

"And I was tired and weak and not prepared for the cold and just..."

Dan reached out to Herbert and placed a hand on his knee and his shoulder comfortingly. He'd never seen him this vulnerable. 

"West, West it's okay." Dan spoke reassuringly but urgently. He got off of the couch to drop to his knees in front of his seat, allowing him to see Herbert as the man bowed his head down while still grasping it tightly. Herbert was quick to calm himself. His rapid and irregular breathing soon slowed to a normal pace, syncing with Dan as they both took deep breaths. He hands dropped in front of him again, fidgeting slightly. He brought his head up, still breathing deeply, and looked at Dan with tears in his eyes that he refused to let fall. Dan's eyes were watered as well, but they cleared as he saw Herbert quickly readjust himself. Tentatively, Dan held out his hand to Herbert's and the frightened man accepted it.

"I'm sorry to make you talk about that."

"It's fine. I shouldn't be irrational."

"Herbert, it isn't irrational, it must have been a traumatic experi-"

"Well did you get all that you wanted to know?"

Dan sighed. "Do you remember how you got that head wound?"

"Head wound?"

Herbert's free hand moved to his head and felt a large spot of dried blood.

"No, I don't. The last thing I recall is my vision going dark."

"You probably passed out in the cold and hit your head on the way down then." Dan got up to grab some bandages and saline solution. He circled around to the back of the couch with the medical supplies.

Herbert interjected while Dan was wetting a gauze with the solution. "You knew I had a head wound, why didn't you just go ahead and wrap it up? Why must you pry?"

"Because if you got that from one of the reanimated subjects, who knows what shit got in your system? I wanted to see if there was a better way to treat you first. Besides, you were only revived a few minutes ago. I didn't get the chance to address any wounds."

West fell silent at the reminder of his reanimation and allowed Cain to go ahead and clean the wound. 

"This is going to sting." Dan said before rubbing the wound with the gauze, but Herbert had no reaction. Dan was puzzled, just about all patients wince in some way to a wound being cleaned unless they're heavily drugged or something, but he moved on to wrapping a bandage around Herbert's head.

"Wait, did you even _clean_ the wound?" West scoffed.

"Yes, you didn't feel it at all?"

"No. You must not have done it properly."

Now it was Dan's turn to scoff. "I'm a doctor, Herbert, I can clean a wound."

Dan returned to wrapping the bandage. "Your senses are probably dulled from the reanimation. You know how reanimated subjects seem to have an incredibly high pain tolerance."

Herbert grunted a response and let Dan finish without any protest. When Dan was done, he rested his elbows on the top of the couch and rubbed his face, moving his hands to wipe the exhaustion from his eyes. Herbert heard Dan's sighs and turned around, noting how completely tired the man appeared, both mentally and physically. It had been quite an eventful night. West rested a hand on one of Dan's elbows.

"Go sleep." He said. Dan stared back at him for a moment before responding.

"Herbert, you died. I'm not leaving you alone. You didn't even tell me if there are any other injuries I need to-"

_"Go sleep."_ Herbert repeated. "Hypothermia and a head injury. That's all." He stood up from the couch and stood beside Dan. Dan had to laugh a little at Herbert referring to those injuries as “that's all.”

"But what if something happens to you again?"

"I won't be doing any more experiments tonight. The laboratory is in too much of a disarray to accomplish anything. Just go rest, Dan."

Dan still wasn't satisfied. "You were reanimated, what if you experience some fucked up side effect or whatever?"

Herbert gripped the arm of the couch. "I am perfectly fine right now, am I not? I'm not going on a bloody murder spree or crying blood or having my eyeballs explode. If something happens, I'll wake you."

Dan finally nodded and walked away towards the hallway. Before turning the corner, he looked back at Herbert, meeting him in the eyes.

He swallowed what he was about to say and replaced it. "I'm glad you're okay."

Dan walked into his room. Herbert watched as the lights went on and brightened up the dark hallway before being eclipsed by Dan's bedroom door, leaving him alone in the living room.

West shivered. He hadn't realized just how cold he still was. He reached for a blanket and wrapped it around his body as he made his way in front of the fireplace. Lighting it, he watched as the warm glow danced and lit the room. It was quiet. Peaceful. The soft crackle of the flame calmed Herbert, but he was still freezing. 

Before he even realized what he was doing, Herbert held his hand out and slowly put it into the dancing fire. He felt the warmth flow around his hand and in between his fingers, but it wasn't enough. He returned his hand from the fire and studied it in the light. It was a deep red with several burns all over, and yet, he felt none of it. The dead man closed his hand in a tight fist and watched as blood trickled from his palm onto the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 woop wooooop. As you can see I'm trying to develop an upload schedule here, so hopefully you'll see chapter 4 on Tuesday :). Let me know what you thought in the comments! Thanks for reading :DD


	4. Side Effects

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw // description of burns, self harm, trauma
> 
> If there is anything that makes you uncomfortable in these chapters, don't be afraid to let me know and I'll tag it!

The sunrise lit up Dan's bedroom and eased him awake. Opening his eyes, he was blinded by the glow as he sleepily raised his hand to block the window. He peaked at the clock beside him. 6 AM. If it was any normal morning, he would go to the hospital, but the events of last night slowly reentered his mind and he knew he wouldn't be able to work today. Dan flipped over to face the other side of the bed with no Francesca beside him. No Meg beside him.

Only now did Dan realize he had gone to sleep in his clothes from the night before, covered in blood, dirt, and sweat. God, he was exhausted. His rest had hardly helped him at all. Dan pondered staying in bed but felt increasingly disgusting, and even though he wasn't going to go to work, maybe a shower could return some feeling of normalcy into his routine.

He stumbled out of bed and made his way from the hallway to the living room. Herbert was sitting in the middle of it, staring at his outstretched burned hand beside the fireplace which had extinguished long ago. Dan, alarmed and suddenly very awake, rushed to Herbert and dropped beside him.

"West, what did you do?!" Dan said in anger and panic. Herbert blinked rapidly and turned to Dan.

"When did you get here?"

Dan could only let out an exasperated sigh as he got back up from the floor and grabbed some medical supplies once again. He talked to Herbert as he dug through their stash of materials. "What were you doing now? How long have you been like that?"

"Like what?" Herbert was slightly confused, like he had just woken up, but he could tell he hadn't slept. He was still sitting up straight on the floor, there was no indication he had lied down at all. In fact, his hair and his glasses were still perfectly kept. Well, as perfect as they had been from the previous night.

"You were just sitting there staring at your hand. Did you shove it in the fire or something?" Dan said sarcastically. He was assuming that Herbert burned himself on accident when he lit the fireplace. A dumb thing for a man in his condition to attempt to do anyway, he thought.

Herbert blinked. "Yes." he replied in a monotone.

Dan turned to face Herbert quizzically. "Intentionally?"

"I was cold."

Cain sat down beside West with an armful of bandages and gauzes. Up close, he started to see the severity of the burns. Herbert's hand was a fleshy pink with scaly and burnt patches of skin found all over. Blisters were forming over many parts and dried blood coated many of them. It was a disgusting sight, but nothing Dan wasn't used to in his profession. What did shock him was Herbert's utterly unfazed reaction. He knew West was an apathetic man, but when it came to something this severe he expected Herbert to be in extreme pain, and being a doctor as well he should have patched himself up by now. Instead, Herbert had just been sitting there for who knows how long staring at his hand which was in dire need of medical attention. Just sitting there and doing nothing.

He reached out for Herbert's hand and gently brought it down in front of him. Dan began wrapping up the hand, and while he knew Herbert could do it for himself, he had little trust in the man seeing how careless he had been. Herbert didn't object, he was still trying to piece together what he had been doing staring at his hand for all those hours. He was sure that he wasn't asleep, but he wasn't focused on anything. He had just been completely spaced out. He didn't even feel totally here right now. 

"Do you not feel anything?" Dan said softly, breaking the silence.

"...No." Herbert paused. "I don't know. My hand doesn't hurt at all."

"And you didn't feel it when I was patching up your head."

"True." 

Dan could see the gears moving in Herbert's head as the man tried to simultaneously scientifically analyze these revelations and scan himself for any other side effects of reanimation.

"My...my joints ache." Herbert mentioned as he softly stretched his arms.

"Could be 'cause you've been sitting like that for hours."

"No no no, they've felt this way since I first..." 

"I understand."

Herbert got up quickly and grabbed a nearby notebook and pencil. He moved to sit on the couch and rested the paper on the coffee table in front of him as he hurriedly scrawled down notes.

Dan watched from his spot on the floor, once again feeling overly protective over the reanimated man. Seeing him working was a good sign, but there was still so much they didn't understand about how this had affected him.

"So, you feel pain but you also don't?"

"It seems I've developed a chronic internal reaction to the reanimation, but overall..." Herbert finished writing and looked up at Dan. "I'm numb to most pain."

"But you still experience the physical side effects of the pain, of course."

"Of course." Herbert replied matter-of-factly.

"Then why did you stick your hand in the fireplace?" Dan said incredulously.

"I was cold." Herbert repeated. He bent back down to face the notebook and jotted down the fact that he still experienced temperature.

"That doesn't make any sense, Herbert."

"Feeling the temperature? I agree, shouldn't make sense if I don't experience pain but-"

"For fuck's sake, you know what I mean."

Herbert frowned. "I don't know why I did that," he said quietly. "I don't recall a lot of last night after you left."

Dan knew he wouldn't get an answer, so he frowned back and let the topic slide begrudgingly. His confidence in Herbert's state was low. "Well, what other effects are you feeling?"

Once again, West was silent as he thought intensely. "My head hurts, but not like a typical headache, it's difficult to describe. It's like the same way my limbs ache. Most likely something to do with the reagent working to keep my body functioning."

Cain nodded.

"Like we established last night, I remember everything."

"But you just said you don't remember much of last night." Dan interjected.

Herbert sighed. "You're right. I might have a problem with new memory creation. We'll have to run some tests. We can use the MRI machine at the hospital, of course we'll have to be discrete about it, and then if the..."

West stopped in the middle of his sentence and stared off ahead of him at nothing in particular with no emotion. No thoughts.

Dan looked in the direction that Herbert was facing and saw nothing concerning. He turned back to face the man. "Herbert."

His eyes darted to face Dan and it looked like he had just woken up as he blinked rapidly again like he had earlier. "Hm?"

"What happened?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You were talking and then you just stopped and stared off."

"What?"

"Herbert, you're dissociating."

The dense, awkward silence returned, thick and unsettling.

"It's a common symptom of trau-"

"I'm aware." West shot back.

He reached down to the notebook and started writing again. Only now did Dan notice that Herbert was writing with his injured hand, but he appeared to be unfazed by this action. Dan was about to question Herbert further about everything, when the latter spoke first.

"We need to clean up the lab so we can get back to work." Herbert stood up quickly from the couch and walked past Dan as he made his way to the basement. Before he could turn the corner, Dan caught his arm.

_ "Herbert." _

_ "Daniel." _

"Jesus Christ, Herbert, why are you trying to act like everything is normal?" He let go of Herbert's arm and crossed his own with an exasperated expression.

"I'm alive, I'm well, we need to-"

"You're not well!"

"We need to work."

"Why?!"

Herbert fully turned the corner and ran down to the basement, away from Dan and away from the confrontation of his predicament. He couldn't believe how foreign his own body felt to him, how every second he was alive felt like it was an act of painful rebellion against nature as opposed to freedom from death. Once again he felt that sickly feeling of reagent being pumped throughout his entire body, acting as fuel for every movement he made. It seemed insane that he used to shoot this stuff up to keep himself active. The buzz of energy it had provided felt akin to strong coffee or something of that caliber, but this...

Reaching for the door into the laboratory at the bottom of the basement steps, Herbert stopped. He shivered.

He forgot how cold the basement was. He forgot how cold he was.

And he had almost forgotten about the freezer, which if he opened that door he would have to see.

Those fucking tears again in his eyes...

He wrapped his arms around himself, experiencing the intense chill that never left him since his death. Backing up from the door, his back met the staircase and he slid down to the floor. Two streams of silent tears marked his face as he did not allow himself to properly cry, but he couldn't stop his body's involuntary response to recalling everything.

It was at that moment that Dan had caught up to Herbert and raced down the stairs to meet him in the lab, only to find the man sitting with his knees close to his chest on the floor. Dan found himself being the caregiver once again, dropping to his knees so he could be on Herbert's level. When their eyes met this time, not only did Dan once again see the vulnerability, but he saw frustration. Herbert didn't want to feel this way. Dan knew the trauma that reanimated subjects experienced. He had seen the pain firsthand with Meg. How could he do the same to Herbert? If this was the price of being alive, Herbert never agreed to pay it.

"Why did you bring me back?" It was as if Herbert was reading Dan's mind.

Dan sighed as his eyes watered. "I couldn't lose you like I lost her."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii :) It's a week past when I said I would upload this chapter <3
> 
> Like I said, I'm just getting back into writing fanfics. I thought a schedule would help me keep myself motivated, but I honestly prefer uploading chapters whenever I'd like instead. Hope you all are good with that
> 
> I'm going to go back to the previous chapters and add tw/cw lists at the beginning. I'll try to tag the usual triggering subjects that are applicable, but if there is anything you think I'm missing don't hesitate to let me know!
> 
> In general, know that this fic will be dealing with trauma, death, and violence
> 
> Thank you all for your patience and I hope you enjoy :))


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